How is Life Treating You?
Posted on | January 15, 2010 | 1 Comment
Some people are not hardwired for personal improvement, while others take to it like squirrels to trees. No matter which category you fall in to, if you want to get yourself to the next level, you have to decide that you do want to, and can make your life better.
I remember a young man who started training with me in the early-80s. Let’s call him Hank. Hank was an incredibly gifted athlete who worked very hard. He had it all going for him – handsome, smart and athletic. But, at the same time, he had one of the worst attitudes that I had ever seen. He was always on brink of going over to the dark side and I was constantly trying to pull him back. When challenges would come up in his life, he would inevitably take the low road.
As hard as I tried, I was not able to steer Hank off his destructive path. He was an alcoholic by the age of 17. By his early 20’s, he found himself dealing with additional addictions to steroids and vicodin as well. At his core, he was a good guy trying his best to do the right thing. But somehow his self image was warped and he just couldn’t keep it together. Amazingly, he still calls me a couple of times of year, usually right after he gets out of rehab. Now, he’s in his 40s but he looks like he’s 60. He’s been in and out of jail, never been married and can’t hold a job. He has abused his body so much that he is diabetic and has sclerosis of the liver, a condition that will kill him if he continues to drink. The last time I saw him I asked him, “How’s life treating you?” His reply? “Like a baby treats his diapers.” And, believe it or not, Hank believes that he doesn’t have anything to do with the condition of his life. To him, everything that has happened to him is through no fault of his own.
Hopefully to a lesser degree, how many times have I pointed the finger elsewhere when challenges arise, not wanting to accept the fact that my attitude and my actions might have something to do with my situation? I’m sure that I am the only one that does this, right?
In my better moments, I have this irrational sense of optimism. I know that I hold the key to my own personal improvement. All I have to do is to accept where I am and assume full responsibility for it. Then I must decide a course of action that will best get me where I want to be. And finally, I need to take action in that direction. All the while, I need to constantly remind myself of all the ways that I have been truly blessed. Is all this simple? Yes. Is all this easy? No. Is all this worth trying? Absolutely!!!
By the way, “How is life treating you”?
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About Dave Kovar
Mr. Kovar has been teaching Martial Arts professionally since 1978. Dave is a multi-style Black Belt who has been committed to ever-improving his Martial Arts skills. He updates this blog to provide tips and insights to martial arts instructors around the country. To learn more, click here.
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January 28th, 2010 @ 5:20 pm
This story came at the right time…I needed to hear that at this exact moment! Thanks Kyoshi