Be Easily In Awe
Posted on | December 14, 2010 | No Comments
I first heard Grandmaster Jhoone Rhee use this line when he was explaining to a group of Martial Arts instructors how to best work with young children. I learned a lot from him about Martial Arts and teaching, but this was some of his best advice.
Do you remember a time when someone genuinely praised something you had accomplished and how good that made you feel? How about a time when you may have been overlooked or even been criticized about something you were proud of? How did each of these events affect you and your future choices and efforts? When you stop to think about it, you know the value of showing genuine excitement for and admiration of the accomplishments of your students, young and old.
So be sure to use this valuable teaching tool whenever you have the opportunity. This is especially important with younger people, but can be effective with adults as well. When you see a performance that is praiseworthy, be sure to give that praise with heartfelt sincerity. Even if it’s not perfect, be sure to admire the effort before making any corrections and then commend the action again. By choosing to be easily in awe, you can have a positive impact on your students and can help change their lives for the better.
Accept Positive Energy
Posted on | December 8, 2010 | No Comments
I’m pretty sure that most of us do our best to accept critiques from others. We might not always like it, but the majority of the time we thank people for their feedback and then do our best to absorb the information. Sometimes, we might graciously accept negative feedback even when it’s not true. But, what most of us don’t do as well as we might is accept positive feedback. I’m guessing that I’m not the only one who has sloughed off a compliment from a friend instead of responding with a sincere “thank you” and then soaking in their kind words. The Mastery Mindset “I Accept Positive Energy” deals with this concept. It refers to making a conscious choice to accept positive feedback from others instead of downplaying it. C’mon, we hear enough negativity every day. When we hear some good stuff, let’s absorb it. Let’s enjoy it. Remember, when someone gives you a compliment it is a gift and all you have to do to accept the gift is to say, “Thank you.”
Another thing we can do to get connected to the uplifting energy around us is to surround ourselves with optimistic people and an upbeat environment. I know you know this, but the question is…are you doing it? I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Stand guard at the door of your mind.” His advice was to be careful about what you let into your head because it can’t help but affect you in some way. A good example of this would be the news on TV. Have you ever watched the local news and walked away feeling great about yourself and your community? Probably not. Chances are you turned off the TV asking yourself, “What is the world coming to?” I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be informed about what’s happening in your community and in the world. I’m just saying that you should be careful of how much time you spend becoming informed and also be thoughtful about the sources of your information. I specifically remember turning off the TV after watching the news one day and wondering how, as a country, we were going to make it through the year. Gas prices were high, stock was falling and terrorists were running rampant. Sounds familiar? Well, I was a sophomore in high school and the year was 1975. Guess what? We made it through. And we’ll make it through our current challenges as well. The difficulty is that if we let ourselves get too wrapped up in all the negativity surrounding us, it will become our reality. To a certain degree, I think that ignorance is bliss.
Another great strategy to help you get into a positive mindset is to start a “thank you” file. This is the place where you keep all of the notes, letters and e-mails from students and parents of students that you have (hopefully!) been saving over the years expressing thanks, appreciation and goodwill towards you or your organization. Keep this file handy and get in the habit of reviewing it often. From my experience, nothing can improve your mood faster than reading a heartfelt letter from a parent expressing how your program changed their child’s life for the better and or how it literally saved their life. I have one letter that is extra special to me. I have probably read it 500 times and I literally have it memorized. Whenever I need a lift, that letter is always there for me.
I challenge you to make “I Accept Positive Energy” one of your daily affirmations. There is little downside and lots of upside to doing so.
Schools That Are Always Closed, Always Close…
Posted on | November 30, 2010 | No Comments
It stands to reason that if you’re not open for business, then you can’t conduct any business. Yet, I find it fascinating how frequently our calls to other Martial Arts schools are answered by voice mail, or worse…not at all!
It’s important to remember that if you’re not open and available to your customers and potential customers, then you probably won’t be in business for long. Look around you and see which martial arts schools are doing well. You’ll be sure to discover that they’re the ones that are open the most hours and have an owner who is involved in the daily running of the business. These owners understand that they have to put in the time, work smart and work hard to reap the rewards of running a successful martial arts school.
Even if your school is well established and you feel that maybe you can reduce the hours you personally put in, you must stay involved and aware of all aspects of the running of your school. If you put someone else in charge of opening the school, be sure to check in occasionally to make certain they’re on time. If you assign the task of making two, four and six week calls to another staff member, follow up to insure this important task is done. If you do your bookkeeping, business-related reading or other tasks at home, consider coming in to your school so the doors can be open and the phone can be answered by a real person instead of an answering machine.
To maximize the potential of your martial arts business, don’t overlook the importance of being open and available for any and all opportunities that may come you way. Remember, schools that are always closed, always close.
I Deflect Negative Energy
Posted on | November 22, 2010 | No Comments
This time around, I would like to discuss the Mastery Mindset titled “I Deflect Negative Energy”. This mindset refers to the importance of not letting negative situations or people steal your joy. Of course it’s easy to give advice to your friends. The challenge is being able to apply this advice in your own life. I would like to share with you a few strategies that work well for me. Perhaps they will do the same for you.
First off, do your best to avoid negative environments. I remember a time years back when a gentleman came into my school to ask about self-defense classes. He was wearing a black eye and some stitches. Come to find out, he had just been in a bar fight and ended up on the losing side (On a different note, I’m not sure if there is a winning side in a bar fight, but we’ll talk about that another time). He told me that he needed to learn some self-defense because every time he goes to this one particular bar he always gets into fights. I answered him half jokingly by saying “Well don’t go to that bar!” He literally responded with “I hadn’t thought of that. What a great idea!” What are the “Bars” in your life that you should be avoiding?
Next, do your best to avoid negative people. We have all experienced our share of these I’m sure. For me, there is one gentleman that clearly stands out. He was the father of one of our junior students. I remember walking up to him one time near the beginning of our relationship, shaking his hand and asking him how he was doing. He responded by saying “Lousy, but thanks for asking.” It kind of threw me off, but I figured he was just having a bad day. What I found out over time however was that every day was a bad day for him. Virtually every conversation I had with him was negative. Life was hard. He was sick. His son is dumb. We need to teach better classes. Now I’m a little slow so for the first few months, I always tried to accommodate him and fix his problems. Eventually, the light bulb went off and I realized that this is simply who he was. After that, I would just smile and wave to him as I passed. I never slowed down long enough to have a conversation because I knew if I did, he would only spew a bunch of negativity my way. Of course it is impossible to use this strategy all the time, but maybe you can use it more than you currently are.
Another strategy and perhaps the most important one, is to try to not take things personally. As a martial arts instructor I know that if I ever lose patience with my students, it’s rarely the students fault. It usually has to do with the fact that I’m thinking about something else at the time. Probably something that is irritating me and the student just happens to be in front of me. So I unconsciously take it out on them. I try to keep this in mind when someone lashes out in my direction. It helps me to not take it personally…at least most of the time.
So the next time some negativity gets thrown your way, simply do your best to not accept it. I’m reminded of a childhood jingle that I learned when I was about eight years old. It went something like this “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but I would say that was pretty good advice.
Good Judgment Comes from Bad Judgment Remembered
Posted on | November 16, 2010 | No Comments
If you’re just starting out in your martial arts business, you are probably feeling confident, but maybe a bit nervous too about the challenges you know lie ahead.
If you’re fortunate, you have a mentor who can help you by sharing some of the lessons they might have learned over the years. And if you’ve been running your business for a while, you’ve made some mistakes, learned some lessons and improved your judgment along the way. Perhaps you’re even in a position to mentor someone who’s just starting out?
As you grow as a martial artist and as a businessperson, consider that good judgment comes from poor judgment remembered. If you are mindful of what you learn along the way, your good judgment will grow along with the success of your company. As we all know, we sometimes learn better by doing rather than by hearing. So while it is sensible to talk with others about their experiences, you may find yourself falling into some of the same difficulties others have faced before you really “get it”. That’s okay…as long as you get it in the end!
One way to consciously develop good judgment is to reflect on each day’s events. Take some time to ask yourself some questions designed to expose challenge areas and enlighten you on how you can improve:
- What were my challenges today?
- How could I have handled that differently?
- What are my challenges on a regular basis? Is it communication? Perhaps money matters?
- What can I do to improve in these areas?
If you acknowledge each roadblock and apply the lessons learned to future situations, you will find that your good judgment expands into other areas, generating success and growth in both your business and your life. And remember going forward that every now and then, regardless of your level of experience, you are still going to exercise bad judgment. But no worries, because “Good Judgment Comes from Bad Judgment Remembered”.
10 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF THE WARRIOR CODE
Posted on | November 8, 2010 | No Comments
In reviewing some of my notes for an idea for this blog, I stumbled upon the 10 UNIVERSAL LAWS OF THE WARRIOR CODE by Dawn Callan. My first thought was to rework it a bit. But upon re-reading it, I realized that it is just great the way it is. Enjoy.
The Ten Universal Laws of the Warrior Code:
1. Pay Attention. Stay in the present. It’s the only place anything real is happening.
2. Take Responsibility. This is your life, take it back. Either you get to own it or you get to blame someone or something else for it. Choose.
3. No Kvetching (to complain persistently). No whining, no sniveling – it takes you out of the present and lets you abdicate responsibility.
4. Don’t Take Any Abuse. It’s very bad for ones self esteem to take any abuse. Stand up to your tyrants, both internal and external. The cost is too great not to.
5. Do It Anyway. Hard choices temper our strength and our integrity; they make the difference between a life of excellence and a life of mediocrity.
6. Don’t Quit. Look at what stops you, at where you give the effort up. That is the edge between becoming a victim or a warrior.
7. Keep Your Agreements. A warrior is only as good as his or her word. The way we build self-trust and trust in others is by making and keeping agreements.
8. Keep Your Sense of Humor. Otherwise what’s the point? Humor helps us to stretch beyond our own limits and ourselves.
9. Love One Another. Otherwise where’s the meaning? It’s the way we remember we’re not alone in the universe.
10. Honor Your Connection To The Source. There is a force in the universe, greater than ourselves that creates us, provides for us, cares for us, guides us, and loves us. It speaks to us from within. Trust it.
From: ”Awakening the Warrior Within” by Dawn Callan
Stump Speeches
Posted on | November 2, 2010 | No Comments
Several years ago, I went out to Ann Arbor, Michigan to visit my friend Keith Hafner’s school. As I’m sure you have heard, he runs an amazing organization. One of the things that really stood out was his ability to articulate the benefits of Martial Arts training to his students. I was so impressed that on the plane flight home, I wrote a bunch of Stump speeches (Miagi-isms) so that my staff and I could try to replicate this ability. These “Stump Speeches” discuss various benefits of Martial Arts training and could be memorized and internalized so you can call upon them when needed. Here is what I came up with:
1. Often times we feel powerless. By showing us how to dramatically increase physical power through conditioning and proper body mechanics, Martial Arts makes us feel empowered.
2. Often times we feel out of balance. By learning proper stances, efficient movement and striking skills, Martial Arts helps us to know what it feels like to be balanced. Physical balance is directly related to emotional control. “Concentrate on your balance…. Lose your upset.” “Concentrate on your upset… Lose your balance.”
3. Often times we feel very ridged. We are resistant to new ideas or change. By helping us develop more flexibility, Martial Arts teaches us to loosen up and become more open-minded and receptive to feedback.
4. Often times we feel like things are coming at us too fast and we can’t keep up. By learning how to double our speed and increase our reaction time, everything else seems to slow down and be more manageable for us.
5. Often times we feel tired and sluggish. By developing our physical stamina, Martial Arts not only increases vital energy, but also helps develop mental toughness to get through life’s biggest challenges.
6. Many people spend more time planning their vacation than planning their life. By allowing students to incrementally set and achieve short and long term goals (like tips and belts and ultimately a Black Belt), Martial Arts instills life long confidence in one’s ability to set and achieve worthy goals.
7. Often times we feel out of control, a slave to our impulses and emotions. By showing us how to control our movement & techniques and focusing our energy & emotions on the task at hand, Martial Arts develops the innate ability to stay centered and present-focused…even in the most stressful of times.
8. Often times we feel fearful or uncertain about how to respond to the environment around us. By helping us to discern the difference between unwarranted fear and real danger and then how to respond in dangerous situations, Martial Arts helps us to develop real confidence in the face of adversity.
9. Many people lack respect for themselves and those around them or perhaps feel that no one respects them. By teaching us to give and receive respect and developing a new appreciation of our body and our evolving skills, Martial Arts develops a natural feeling of respect which permeates every aspect of life. We learn to understand that in order to get respect from others, we have to give it.
10. Most of the time we know what we should be doing to improve our lives, we just lack the discipline to do it. By disciplining our body to learn and perform new skills and by sticking to a set practice routine, self-discipline arises, making all other things possible. “Someone who has self-discipline knows what to do and does it.”
Everything Matters
Posted on | October 23, 2010 | No Comments
Perhaps you have heard of the scientific hypothesis referred to as the butterfly effect? Wikipedia states that the butterfly effect refers to the idea that a butterfly’s wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events (compare: domino effect). Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different. While the butterfly does not ‘cause’ the tornado in the sense of providing the energy for the tornado, it does ‘cause’ it in the sense that the flap of its wings is an essential part of the initial conditions. Without that flap, that particular tornado would not have existed. Although this may appear to be an esoteric and unusual behavior, it is exhibited by very simple systems: for example, a ball placed at the crest of a hill might roll into any of several valleys depending on only slight differences of initial position. The butterfly effect is an often used in fiction when presenting scenarios involving time travel and with “what if” scenarios where one storyline diverges at the moment of a seemingly minor event resulting in two significantly different outcomes.
You have probably figured out where I’m going with this essay. Our actions really do matter, all of them. Every decision we make, big and small affects our future and the future of those we share our world with. That is a pretty big responsibility isn’t it? Yes it is, but I also believe it makes life simpler as well (Keep in mind that I said simpler, not easier). Being mindfully aware that everything matters helps us to shape our decisions both unconsciously and consciously. All we have to remember to do when we are faced with a challenge is to do what is right. Sure, sometimes it is hard to know what is right, but more often than not, we know. We just don’t always DO. So the next time you are faced with a difficult decision, try not to think about the easiest solution, or the quickest solution, or the solution that most benefits you. Instead try to think about what is right and then try your hardest to do it.
Because remember, Everything Matters.
How to Deal With Unhappy Students
Posted on | October 17, 2010 | No Comments
From time to time in even the best martial arts schools, there are going to be unhappy students. Sometimes things just happen and it isn’t really anybody’s fault. Other times, one party or the other could be clearly in the wrong. Regardless of who or what created the situation, it is important to understand that winning an argument doesn’t keep a customer. Here are a few basic tips that will go a long way in helping you to navigate thru challenging situations.
Be Unemotional And Non-Defensive – Hear what they have to say and see if there is any truth to it. Remember that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. Often times, if you are receptive, you will learn things that will help you avoid similar situations in the future.
Let Them Vent – Sometimes people just want to be heard and will be satisfied if you will just listen. Resist the temptation to fire counter-accusations. This can be challenging at times but it always pays big dividends.
Ask For A Solution – Once again, people will be more receptive to hearing what you have to say if they believe that you are trying to hear their viewpoint. Also, this tends to get both sides more aliened and on the same team.
Don’t Take It Personal – Just because they are giving you feedback doesn’t mean they are criticizing you personally. Remember, feelings aren’t right or wrong, they just are.
Thank Them For Their Concern – Whatever the outcome, whether you agree or disagree, thank them for their interest in your improvement.
Do What You Can To Make It Right – The technical name for this is ”service recovery”. When you have made the mistake, it goes a long way in turning an unhappy customer into a raving fan.
Understanding the Value of a Routine
Posted on | October 10, 2010 | No Comments
There is an old saying that goes, “Take care of the days and the years take care of themselves”. This quote is as true today as when it was originally written. The concept is so simple, it is often overlooked or dismissed in search of something more advanced or complicated.
In the book “The Power of Full Engagement”, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz talk about the importance of developing positive daily rituals. They refer to the fact that long-term success can be directly related to the number of positive rituals an individual has developed.
A good exercise to do is analyze your day. Do it from start to finish. What has become your routine? When do you wake up? What do you eat for breakfast? What books do you read? Do you exercise? Once you’ve done this for a day, better yet, a week, go back and decide if what you are doing is what you should be doing. If it is, keep going. If not, what can you do differently?
Option A – Imagine that our morning ritual is as follows:
- Wake up late
- Rush out the door without breakfast
- Grab a donut on the way to the office while listening to talk radio.
Option B – Now let’s imagine instead that our morning ritual is to:
- Wake up early
- Enjoy a tall glass of water
- Have a brisk workout
- Take time to read some positive literature while enjoying a nutritious breakfast.
How will the rituals of Option A versus Option B affect our lives if repeated over the course of ten years? Ask yourself these questions:
- Physically - how different will I look?
- Emotionally - how will I feel different?
- Professionally, where will I be?
- Spiritually, how centered will I be?
Chances are you can see how different your life would be by just developing a positive morning ritual. Now let’s magnify this concept by imagining a full day ruled by positive rituals. What would it look like?
Write out, in detail, your ideal day. When would you exercise? What would you read? What would you eat? Whom would you spend time with? Where would you live? How would you treat the people around you? The more detail, the better. When you are done, read it daily and do your best to make your perfect day become a reality.
About Dave Kovar
Mr. Kovar has been teaching Martial Arts professionally since 1978. Dave is a multi-style Black Belt who has been committed to ever-improving his Martial Arts skills. He updates this blog to provide tips and insights to martial arts instructors around the country. To learn more, click here.
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